yo i KNOW she on the phone with dude

i mean
thats that bullshit tho right?

i've never figured myself a jealous type.. but the dynamics of our relationship make it hard for me to be fully secure.

she lives 700 miles away from me.

thats an issue in and of itself, not to mention a potential mother for hellspawn other issues. she doesnt understand how hard these last couple of months have been man. and all the "i love you"s and "i miss you"s and all that other shit doesnt stand a chance against stress and every twitch in your body pulling you a different way.

and now this. i know that nigga is putting it in her ear something ridiculous. and tehre isn't shit i can do about it. all i can do is just be like, oh ok hope i talk to you tonight.

i mean. i had settled rather nicely into the idea of being her boyfriend, i thought. it was a comfortable place to be, albeit lonely, but she holds out for me.

you can't but respect that.

then cats want to try to resurrect some old shit that i'm not sure has ever died...

i'm getting sleepy now and thats a good thing. i dont want to spend all night fretting about this.

suffice it to say that i'm back on hurt mode though. i love her but i honestly don't know how much longer i can do this shit.